MEMOIRS OF AN INFANTRY OFFICER (EXCERPT)
By Siegfried Sassoon.
Author of "Memoirs of a Fox-Hunting Man".
Coward, McCann; New York : 1930
PART FOUR -- BATTLE
I
ON THE morning of a Battalion move I made it my business to keep out
of the way until the last moment. At the end of a march I had my definite
duties, but before we started Burton was always in such a stew that
my absence was a positive advantage to him. So on Monday, after bolting
my breakfast while Flook waited to pack the mugs and plates in the mess-box,
I left Burton shouting irritably for the Sergeant-Major and wandered
away to sit by the river until the whistles began to blow. Durley and
Jenkins had gone to make sure that the billets were being left clean
and tidy. In the green orchard behind the farm buildings the men were
putting their kits together, their voices sounding as jolly as though
they were off for a summer holiday. For me, it was a luxury to be alone
for a few minutes, watching the yellow irises, and the ribbon weeds
that swayed like fishes in the dimpling stream. I was sorry to be saying
good-by to the Marais and its gray-green pools and creeks and the congregation
of poplar stems that upheld a cool whispering roof. Water-haunting birds
whistled and piped, swinging on the bulrushes and tufted reeds, and
a tribe of little green and gold frogs hopped about in the grass without
caring whether they arrived anywhere. All this was obviously preferable
to a battle, and it was a perfect morning to be reading a book beside
the river.
But on the horizon the bombardment bumped and thudded in a continuous
bubbling grumble. After a long stare at sun-flecked foliage and idly
reflective alleys I bustled back to the farmyard to find my platoon
all present and correct. Before I'd finished my formal inspection Burton
emerged from the house with bulging pockets, his burly figure hung like
a Christmas tree with haversack, water-bottle, revolver, field-glasses,
gas-mask, map-case, and other oddments. The Battalion moved off at eight
o'clock; by twelve-thirty it was at Morlancourt, which was now congested
with infantry and supply columns, and "lousy with guns" as
the saying was. A colony of camouflage-daubed tents had sprung up close
to the village; this was the New Main Dressing Station. We were in our
usual billets -- Durley and I in the room containing a representation
of the Eiffel Tower and a ludicrous oleograph of our Savior preaching
from a boat, which we always referred to as jocular Jesus. After a sultry
dinner, the day ended with torrents of rain. While I lay on the floor
in my flea-bag the blackness of the night framed in the window was lit
with incessant glare and flash of guns. But I fell asleep to the sound
of full gutters and rainwater gurgling and trickling into a well, and
those were comfortable noises, for they signified that I had a roof
over my head. As for my flea-bag, it was no hardship; I have never slept
more soundly in any bed.
Operation orders were circulated next morning. They notified us that
Thursday was "Z" (or zero) day. The Seventh Division Battle
Plan didn't look aggressively unpleasant on paper as I transcribed it
into my note-book. Rose Trench, Orchard Alley, Apple Alley, and Willow
Avenue, were among the first objectives in our sector, and my mind very
properly insisted on their gentler associations. Nevertheless this topographical
Arcadia was to be seized, cleared, and occupied when the historic moment
arrived and in conjunction with the French the Fourth Army took the
offensive, establishing as a primary objective a line Montauban-Pozières,
passing to the south of Mametz Wood. There wasn't going to be any mistake
about it this time. We decided, with quite a glow of excitement, that
the Fourth Army was going to fairly wipe the floor with the Boches.
In the meantime our Corps Intelligence Summary (known as Comic Cuts)
reported on June 27th that three enemy balloons had been set on fire
and destroyed on the previous afternoon; also that a large number of
enemy batteries had been silenced by our artillery. The anonymous humorist
who compiled Comic Cuts was also able to announce that the Russians
had captured a redoubt and some heavy guns at Czartovijsk, which, he
explained, was forty-four miles north-east of Luck. At Martinpuich a
large yellowish explosion had been observed. On Tuesday afternoon I
went up to the Line with Durley, on some preliminary errand, for we
were to relieve a battalion of the Border Regiment next day, in the
sector in front of Fricourt Cemetery. Our Batteries were firing strenuously
all along the countryside, with very little retaliation.
As we passed the gun-pits where some Heavies were hidden in a hollow
called Gibraltar, I remarked on a sickly sweet smell which I attributed
to the yellow weeds which were abundant there, but Durley explained
that it was the lingering aroma of gas-shells. When we rode down the
slope to 71. North that familiar resort appeared much the same as usual,
except for the impressive accumulations of war material which were dumped
along the road. Durley remarked that he supposed the old spot would
never be the same again after this week; and already it seemed to us
as if the old days when Mansfield and Ormand were with our company had
become an experience to be looked back on with regret. The Bois Francais
sector had been a sort of village, but we should soon be leaving it
behind us in our vindictive explorations of Rose Trench, Apple Alley,
and Willow Avenue.
On our way up to the front-line we met a staff-officer who was wearing
well-cut riding boots and evidently in a hurry to rejoin his horse.
Larks were rejoicing aloft, and the usual symbolic scarlet poppies lolled
over the sides of the communication trench; but he squeezed past us
without so much as a nod, for the afternoon was too noisy to be idyllic,
in spite of the larks and poppies which were so popular with war-correspondents.
"I suppose those brass-hats do know a hell of a lot about it all,
don't they, Julian?" I queried. Durley replied that he hoped they'd
learnt something since last autumn when they'd allowed the infantry
to educate themselves at Loos, regardless of expense. "They've
got to learn their job as they go along, like the rest of us,"
he added sagely. Five sausage balloons were visible beyond the sky-line,
peacefully tethered to their mother earth. It was our duty to desire
their destruction, and to believe that Corps Intelligence had the matter
well in hand. What we did up in the Front Line I don't remember; but
while we were remounting our horses at 71. North two privates were engaged
in a good-humored scuffle; one had the other's head under his arm. Why
should I remember that and forget so much else?
Wednesday morning was miserably wet. Junior officers, being at a loss
to know where to put themselves, were continually meeting one another
along the muddy street, and gathering in groups to exchange cheerful
remarks; there was little else to be done, and solitude produced the
sinking sensation appropriate to the circumstances. The men were in
their billets, and they too were keeping their spirits up as vocally
as they could. At noon Barton came back from the Colonel's final conference
of company-commanders. A couple of hours later the anti-climax arrived.
We were told that all arrangements for the show were in temporary abeyance.
A popular song, All dressed up and nowhere to go, provided the
obvious comment, and our confidence in Operation Orders oozed away.
Was it the wet weather, we wondered, or had the artillery preparation
been inadequate? Uncertainty ended with an inanimate message; we were
to go up to the line that evening. The attack was postponed forty-eight
hours. No one knew why.
At five o'clock C Company fell in, about eighty strong. The men were
without packs; they carried extra ammunition, two Mills bombs, two smoke
helmets, and a waterproof sheet with jersey rolled inside; their emergency
rations consisted of two tins of bully beef, eight hard biscuits, and
canteen packed with grocery ration. In spite of the anticlimax (which
had made us feel that perhaps this was only going to be a second edition
of the Battle of Loos) my personal impression was that we were setting
out for the other end of nowhere. I had slipped a book into my haversack
and it was a comfort to be carrying it, for Thomas Hardy's England was
between its covers. But if any familiar quotation was in my mind during
the bustle of departure, it may well have been "we brought nothing
unto this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out of it."
We had trudged that way up to the Citadel and 71. North many times before;
but never in such a blood-red light as now, when we halted with the
sunset behind us and the whole shy mountainous with the magnificence
of retreating rain clouds. Tours of trenches had been routine, with
an ordinary chance of casualties. But this time we seemed to have left
Morlancourt behind us forever, and even a single company of Flintshire
Fusiliers (with a ten minute interval between it and B and D Companies)
was justified in feeling that the eyes of Europe were upon it. As for
myself, I felt nothing worth recording -- merely a sense of being irrevocably
involved in something bigger than had ever happened before. And the
symbolism of the sunset was wasted on the rank and file, who were concerned
with the not infrequent badness of their boots, the discomfort caused
by perspiration, and the toils and troubles of keeping pace with what
was required of them till further notice. By nine o'clock we had relieved
the Border Regiment. The mud was bad, but the sky was clear. The bombardment
went on steadily, with periods of intensity; but that infernal shindy
was taken for granted and was an aid to optimism. I felt rather lonely
without Durley, who had been left behind with the dozen officers who
were in reserve.
New Trench, which we took over, had been a good deal knocked about,
but we passed an unharassed night. We were opposite Sunken Road Trench,
which was 300 yards away up a slope. Gaps had been cut in our wire for
the attacking battalion to pass through. Early on the next afternoon
Kinjack came up to inspect the gaps. With the assistance of his big
periscope he soon discovered that the wire wasn't properly cut. It must
be done that night, he said. Barton brought me the news. I was huddled
up in a little dog-kennel of a dug-out, reading Tess of the D'Urbervilles
and trying to forget about the shells which were hurrying and hurrooshing
overhead. I was meditating about England, visualizing a gray day down
in Sussex; dark green woodlands with pigeons circling above the tree-tops;
dogs barking, cocks crowing, and all the casual tappings and twinklings
of the countryside. I thought of the huntsman walking out in his long
white coat with the hounds; of Parson Colwood pulling up weeds in his
garden till tea-time; of Captain Huxtable helping his men get in the
last load of hay while a shower of rain moved along the blurred Weald
below his meadows. It was for all that, I supposed, that I was in the
front-line with soaked feet, trench-mouth, and feeling short of sleep,
for the previous night had been vigilant though uneventful. Barton's
head and shoulders butting past the gas-blanket in the dug-out doorway
wrecked my reverie; he wanted me to come out and have a squint at the
uncut wire, which was no day dream since it was going to affect the
fortunes of a still undiminished New Army Battalion. Putting Tess
in my pocket, I followed him to the fire-trench, which was cumbered
with gas-cylinders and boxes of smoke-bombs. A smoke-cloud was to be
let off later in the afternoon, for no special reason (except, perhaps,
to make us cough and wipe our eyes, since what wind there was blew the
smoke along our trench). Shells were banging away on the rising ground
behind Fricourt and the low ridge of Contalmaison. A young yellow-hammer
was fluttering about in the trench, and I wondered how it had got there:
it seemed out of place, perching on a body which lay trussed in a waterproof
sheet. As for the gaps in the wire, they looked too bad for words and
only one night remained for widening them.
When I was back in the dug-out I found myself fingering with pardonable
pride my two pairs of wire-cutters from the Army and Navy Stores. It
is possible that I overestimated their usefulness, but their presence
did seem providential. Any fool could foresee what happened when troops
got bunched up as they left their trench for a daylight attack; and
I knew that, in spite of obstinate indentations to the source of supplies,
we hadn't got a decent pair of wire-cutters in the Battalion.
The big bugs back at Brigade and Divisional H.Q. were studying trench-maps
with corrugated brows, for the "greatest battle in history"
was timed to explode on Saturday morning. They were too busy to concern
themselves with the ant-like activities of individual platoon commanders,
and if they sent a sympathetic Staff Captain up to have a look round
he couldn't produce wire-cutters like a conjurer. But the fact remained
that insistence on small (and often irrelevant) details was a proverbial
characteristic of Staff organization, and on the eve of battle poor
old Burton would probably be filling in a "return" stating
how many men in his company had got varicose veins or married their
deceased wife's sister. In the meantime my casual purchase at "the
Stores" had, perhaps, lessened the likelihood of the Manchesters
getting bunched up and mown down by machine-guns when they went over
the top to attack Sunken Road Trench. And what would the Manchesters
say about the Flintshire Fusiliers if the wire wasn't properly cut?
So it seemed to me that our prestige as a Regular Battalion had been
entrusted to my care on a front of several hundred yards.
Anyhow I was ready with my party as soon as it began to be dark. There
were only eight of them (mostly from the other companies) and we were
unable to do anything before midnight owing to rather lively shelling.
I remember waiting there in the gloom and watching an unearthly little
conflagration caused by some phosphorus bombs up the hill on our right.
When we did get started I soon discovered that cutting tangles of barbed
wire in the dark in a desperate hurry is a job that needs ingenuity,
even when your wire-cutters have rubber-covered handles and are fresh
from the Army and Navy Stores. More than once we were driven in by shells
which landed in front of our trench (some of them were our own dropping
short) ; two men were wounded and some of the others were reluctant
to resume work. In the first graying of dawn only three of us were still
at it. Kendle (a nineteen year old lance-corporal from my platoon) and
Worgan (one of the tough characters of our company) were slicing away
for all they were worth; but as the light increased I began to realize
the unimpressive effect of the snippings and snatchings which had made
such a mess of our leather gloves. We had been working three and a half
hours but the hedge hadn't suffered much damage, it seemed. Kendle disappeared
into the trench and sauntered back to me puffing a surreptitious Woodbine.
I was making a last onslaught on a clawing thicket which couldn't have
been more hostile if it had been put there by the Germans. "We
can't do any more in this daylight," said Kendle. I straightened
my stiff and weary back and looked at him. His jaunty fag-smoking demeanor
and freckled boyish face seemed to defy the darkness we had emerged
from. That moment has impressed itself strongly on my memory; young
Kendle was remarkable for his cheerfulness and courage, and his cheeky
jokes. Many a company had its Kendle, until the war broke his spirit.
. . . The large solicitous countenance of old man Burton now appeared
above the parapet; with almost aunt-like anxiety he urged us to come
in before we got sniped. But there had been no sniping that night, and
the machine-gun at Wing Corner had been silent. Wing Corner was at the
edge of the skeleton village of Fricourt, whose ruinous church tower
was now distinctly visible against the dark green wood. The Germans,
coming up from their foundering dugouts, would soon be staring grimly
across at us while they waited for the relentless bombardment to begin
again. As we got down into the trench young Kendle remarked that my
new wire-cutters were a fair treat.
Next day, in warm and breezy weather, we moved to our battle-assembly
position. For C Company "battle-assembly position" meant being
broken up into ammunition carrying parties, while Burton, Jenkins, and
myself occupied an inglorious dug-out in the support line. The Manchesters
were due to relieve us at 9 a.m., but there was still no sign of them
at 10.30, so Burton, who was in a free and easy mood (caused by our
immunity from tomorrow's attack) led the company away and left New Trench
to look after itself. I had made up my mind to have another cut at the
wire, which I now regarded with personal enmity, enjoying at the same
time a self-admiring belief that much depended on my efforts. Worgan
stayed behind with me. Kendle was unwilling to be left out of the adventure,
but two of us would be less conspicuous than three, and my feeling for
Kendle was somewhat protective. It was queer to be in an empty front-line
trench on a fine morning, with everything quite peaceful after a violent
early bombardment. Queerer still to be creeping about in the long grass
(which might well have been longer, I thought), and shearing savagely
at the tangles which had bewildered us in the dark but were now at our
mercy. As Worgan said, we were giving it a proper hair-cut this journey.
Lying on my stomach I glanced now and again at the hostile slope which
overlooked us, wondering whether anyone would take a pot-shot at us,
or speculating on a possible visitation of machine-gun bullets from
Wing Corner. Barton's ignorance of what we were doing made it seem like
an escapade, and the excitement was by no means disagreeable. It was
rather like going out to weed a neglected garden after being warned
that there might be a tiger among the gooseberry bushes. I should have
been astonished if someone could have told me that I was an interesting
example of human egotism. Yet such was the truth. I was cutting the
wire by daylight because common sense warned me that the lives of several
hundred soldiers might depend on it being done properly. I was excited
and pleased with myself while I was doing it. And I had entirely forgotten
that tomorrow Six Army Corps would attack, and whatever else happened,
a tragic slaughter was inevitable. But if I had been intelligent enough
to realize all that, my talents would have been serving in some more
exalted place, probably Corps Intelligence Headquarters. Anyhow, at
the end of an hour and a half the gaps were real good ones, and Barton's
red face and glittering pince-nez were bobbing up and down beyond the
parapet with sotto-voce incitements to prudence. Soon afterward we dropped
into the trench and the Manchesters began to arrive. It had been great
fun, I said, flourishing my wire-cutters.
Early in the afternoon the Doctor bustled up from Battalion Headquarters
to tell me that my M.C. had come through. This gratifying little event
increased my blindness to the blood-stained future. Homeliness and humanity
beamed in Barton's congratulations; and the little doctor, who would
soon be dressing the wounds of moaning men, unpicked his own faded medal-ribbon,
produced a needle and thread, and sewed the white and purple portent
on to my tunic. For the rest of the day and, indeed, for the remainder
of my military career, the left side of my chest was more often in my
mind than the right -- a habit which was common to a multitude of wearers
of Military Cross ribbons. Books about war psychology ought to contain
a chapter on "medal-reflexes" and "decoration complexes".
Much might be written, even here, about medals and their stimulating
effect on those who really risked their lives for them. But the safest
thing to be said is that nobody knew how much a decoration was worth
except the man who received it. Outwardly the distribution of them became
more and more fortuitous and debased as the War went on; and no one
knew it better than the infantry, who rightly insisted that medal-ribbons
earned at the Base ought to be a different color.
But I must return to June 30th, which ended with a sullen bombardment
from the British guns and a congestion of troops in the support-trench
outside our dug-out. They had lost their way, and I remember how the
exhausted men propped themselves against the sides of the trench while
their exasperated Adjutant and the confused civilian Colonel grumbled
to Barton about the ambiguity of their operation orders. They were to
attack on our left, and they vanished in that direction, leaving me
with my Military Cross and a foreboding that disaster awaited them.
Since they came within the limited zone of my observations I can record
the fact that they left their trench early next morning at a wrong zero
hour and got badly cut up by the artillery support which ought to have
made things easy for them.
II
0n the first of July the weather, after an early morning mist, was
of the kind commonly called heavenly. Down in our frosty cellar we breakfasted
at six, unwashed and apprehensive. Our table, appropriately enough,
was an empty ammunition box. At six-forty-five the final bombardment
began, and there was nothing for us to do except sit round our candle
until the tornado ended. For more than forty minutes the air vibrated
and the earth rocked and shuddered. Through the sustained uproar the
tap and rattle of machine-guns could be identified; but except for the
whistle of bullets no retaliation came our way until a few 5.9 shells
shook the roof of our dug-out. Burton and I sat speechless, deafened
and stupefied by the seismic state of affairs, and when I lit a cigarette
the match flame staggered crazily. Afterwards I asked him what he had
been thinking about. His reply was "Carpet slippers and Kettle-holders."
My own mind had been working in much the same style, for during that
cannonading cataclysm the following refrain was running in my head:
They come as a boon and a blessing to men,
The Something, the Owl, and the Waverley Pen.
For the life of me I couldn't remember what the first one was called.
Was it the Shakespeare? Was it the Dickens? Anyhow it was an advertisement
which I'd often seen in smoky railway stations. Then the bombardment
lifted and lessened, our vertigo abated, and we looked at one another
in dazed relief. Two Brigades of our Division were now going over the
top on our right. Our Brigade was to attack "when the main assault
had reached its final objective." In our fortunate role of privileged
spectators Burton and I went up the stairs to see what we could from
Kingston Road Trench. We left Jenkins crouching in a corner, where he
remained most of the day. His haggard blinking face haunts my memory.
He was an example of the paralyzing effect which such an experience
could produce on a nervous system sensitive to noise, for he was a good
officer both before and afterwards. I felt no sympathy for him at the
time, but I do now. From the support-trench, which Burton called "our
opera box," I observed as much of the battle as the formation of
the country allowed, the rising ground on the right making it impossible
to see anything of the attack towards Mametz. A small shiny black note-book
contains my penciled particulars, and nothing will be gained by embroidering
them with afterthoughts. I cannot turn my field-glasses on to the past.
7:45 a.m. The barrage is now working to the right of Fricourt and beyond.
I can see the 21st Division advancing about three-quarters of a mile
away on the left and a few Germans coming to meet them, apparently surrendering.
Our men in small parties (not extended in line) go steadily on to the
German front-line. Brilliant sunshine and a haze of smoke drifting along
the landscape. Some Yorkshires a little way below on the left, watching
the show and cheering as if at a football match. The noise almost as
bad as ever.
9:30 a.m. Came back to dug-out and had a shave. 21st Division still
going across the open, apparently without casualties. The sunlight flashes
on bayonets as the tiny figures move quietly forward and disappear beyond
mounds of trench debris. A few runners come back and ammunition parties
go across. Trench-mortars are knocking hell out of Sunken Road Trench
and the ground where the Manchesters will attack soon. Noise not so
bad now and very little retaliation.
9:50 a.m. Fricourt half-hidden by clouds of drifting smoke, blue, pinkish
and gray. Shrapnel bursting in small bluish-white puffs with tiny flashes.
The birds seem bewildered; a lark begins to go up and then flies feebly
along, thinking better of it. Others flutter above the trench with querulous
cries, weak on the wing. I can see seven of our balloons, on the right.
On the left our men still filing across in twenties and thirties. Another
huge explosion in Fricourt and a cloud of brown-pink smoke. Some bursts
are yellowish.
10:05 a.m. I can see the Manchesters down in New Trench, getting ready
to go over. Figures filing down the trench. Two of them have gone out
to look at our wire gaps! Have just eaten my last orange . . . . I am
staring at a sunlit picture of Hell, and still the breeze shakes the
yellow weeds, and the poppies glow under Crawley Ridge where some shells
fell a few minutes ago. Manchesters are sending forward some scouts.
A bayonet glitters. A runner comes back across the open to their Battalion
Headquarters, close here on the right. 21st Division still trotting
along the sky line toward La Boisselle. Barrage going strong to the
right of Contalmaison Ridge. Heavy shelling toward Mametz.
12:15 p.m. (quieter the last two hours. Manchesters still waiting.
Germans putting over a few shrapnel shells. Silly if I got hit! Weather
cloudless and hot. A lark singing confidently overhead.
1:30 p.m. Manchesters attack at 2.30. Mametz and Montauban reported
taken. Mametz consolidated.
2:30 p.m. Manchesters left New Trench and apparently took Sunken Road
Trench, bearing rather to the right. Could see about 400. Many walked
casually across with sloped arms. There were about forty casualties
on the left (from machine-gun in Fricourt). Through my glasses I could
see one man moving his left arm up and down as he lay on his side; his
face was a crimson patch. Others lay still in the sunlight while the
swarm of figures disappeared over the hill. Fricourt was a cloud of
pinkish smoke. Lively machine-gun fire on the far side of the hill.
At 2:50 no one to be seen in No Man's Land except the casualties (about
half-way across). Our dug-out shelled again since 2.30.
5:00 p.m. I saw about thirty of our A Company crawl across to Sunken
Road from New Trench. Germans put a few big shells on the Cemetery and
traversed Kingston Road with machine-gun. Manchester wounded still out
there. Remainder of A Company went across -- about 100 altogether. Manchesters
reported held up in Bois Francais Support. Their Colonel went across
and was killed.
8:00 p.m. Staff Captain of our Brigade has been along. Told Barton
that Seventh Division has reached its objectives with some difficulty,
except on this Brigade front. Manchesters are in trouble, and Fricourt
attack has failed. Several hundred prisoners brought in on our sector.
9:30 p.m. Our A Company holds Rectangle and Sunken Road. Jenkins gone
off in charge of a carrying-party. Seemed all right again. C Company
now reduced to six runners, two stretcher-bearers, Company-Sergeant-Major,
signalers, and Barton's servant. Flook away on carrying-party. Sky cloudy
westward. Red sunset. Heavy gun-fire on the left.
2:30 p.m. (Next afternoon.) Adjutant has just been up here, excited,
optimistic, and unshaven. He went across last night to ginger up A Company
who did very well, thanks to the bombers. About 40 casualties; only
4 killed. Fricourt and Rose Trench occupied this morning without resistance.
I am now lying out in front of our trench in the long grass, basking
in sunshine where yesterday there were bullets. Our new front-line on
the hill is being shelled. Fricourt is full of troops wandering about
in search of souvenirs. The village was a ruin and is now a dust heap.
A gunner (Forward Observation Officer) has just been along here with
a German helmet in his hand. Said Fricourt is full of dead; he saw one
officer lying across a smashed machine-gun with his head bashed in --
"a fine looking chap", he said, with some emotion, which rather
surprised me.
8:15 p.m. Queer feeling, seeing people moving about freely between
here and Fricourt. Dumps being made. Shacks and shelters being put up
under skeleton trees and all sorts of transport arriving at Cemetery
Cross Roads. We stay here till tomorrow morning. Feel a bit of a fraud.
III
Early next morning we took leave of our subterranean sanctuary in Kingston
Road, joined the Battalion at 71. North, and marched a couple of miles
to a concentration point between Mametz and Carnoy. There, in a wide
hollow, the four units of our Brigade piled arms, lay down on the grass,
and took their boots off. Most of them had been without sleep for two
nights and the immediate forecast was "murky." But every man
had a waterproof sheet to sit on, helmets were exchanged for woolen
caps, unshaven faces felt gratitude for generous sunshine, and bare
feet stretched contented toes. Our Division having done well, there
was a confident feeling in the air. But we had heard of partial and
complete failures in other parts of the line, and the name of Gommecourt
had already reached us with ugly implications. It was obvious that some
of us would soon be lacing up our boots for the last time, and the current
rumor, "They say we've got to attack some Wood or other,"
could not fail to cause an uneasy visceral sensation. However one felt
that big things were happening, and my Military Cross was a comfort
to me. It was a definite personal possession to be lived up to, I thought.
I watched the men dozing in odd ungainly attitudes, half listened to
their talk about the souvenirs they'd picked up in the German trenches,
or stared at some captured guns being brought down the lane which led
to Mametz.
A few of the men were wandering about, and my meditations were disturbed
by Kinjack, who had given orders that everyone was to rest all day.
"Tell those men to lie down," he shouted, adding as he returned
to his bivouac on the slope -- "The bastards'll be glad to before
they're much older." It was believed that his brusque manners had
prevented him getting promotion, but everyone knew that it would be
a bad day for the Battalion when Kinjack got his Brigade.
Evening fell calm and overcast, with a blurred orange sunset. Sitting
among rank grass and thistles I stared pensively down at the four Battalions
grouped in the hollow. Thin smoke rose from the little bivouac fires
which had been used for tea making; among the gruff murmuring which
came up with the smoke, the nasal chant of a mouth organ did its best
to "keep the home fires burning". In front of the hollow the
open ground sloped treeless to Bazentin Ridge, dull green and striped
with seams of trenches cut in the chalky soil. Field-guns were firing
on the right and some aeroplanes hummed overhead. Beyond that hill our
future awaited us. There could be no turning back from it . . . . I
would have liked Flook to bring me an orange, but he was away with Jenkins
and the carrying-party, and oranges were almost as remote as the sunset.
Poor Flook will be awfully worried about not being with his officer-bloke,
I thought, imagining his stolid red face puffing along under a box of
ammunition . . . . I went down the hill just in time to hear that we'd
got orders to go up and dig a trench somewhere in front of Mametz.
For a few minutes the hollow was full of the subdued hubbub and commotion
of troops getting into their equipment. Two battalions had been called
out; the Royal Irish moved off ahead of us. As we went up the lane toward
Mametz I felt that I was leaving all my previous war experience behind
me. For the first time I was among the debris of an attack. After going
a very short distance we made the first of many halts, and I saw, arranged
by the roadside, about fifty of the British dead. Many of them were
Gordon Highlanders. There were Devons and South Staffordshires among
them, but they were beyond regimental rivalry now -- their fingers mingled
in blood-stained bunches, as though acknowledging the companionship
of death. There was much battle gear lying about, and some dead horses.
There were rags and shreds of clothing, boots riddled and torn, and
when we came to the old German front-line, a sour pervasive stench which
differed from anything my nostrils had known before. Meanwhile we made
our continually retarded progress up the hill, and I scrutinized these
battle effects with partially complacent curiosity. I wanted to be able
to say that I had seen "the horrors of war"; and here they
were, nearly three days old.
No one in the glumly halted column knew what was delaying us. After
four hours we had only progressed 1,500 yards and were among some ruined
buildings on the outskirts of the village. I have dim remembrance of
the strangeness of the place and our uneasy dawdling in its midnight
desolation. Kinjack was somewhere ahead of us with a guide. The guide,
having presumably lost his way, was having a much hotter time than we
were. So far we had done nothing except file past a tool-dump, where
the men had collected picks, shovels, coils of wire, and corkscrew stakes.
At 2 a.m. we really began to move, passing through Mametz and along
a communication trench. There were some badly mangled bodies about.
Although I'd been with the Battalion nearly eight months, these were
the first newly dead Germans I had seen. It gave me a bit of a shock
when I saw, in the glimmer of daybreak, a dumpy, baggy-trousered man
lying half sideways with one elbow up as if defending his lolling head;
the face was gray and waxen, with a stiff little mustache; he looked
like a ghastly doll, grotesque and undignified. Beside him was a scorched
and mutilated figure, whose contorted attitude revealed bristly cheeks,
a grinning blood-smeared mouth and clenched teeth. These dead were unlike
our own; perhaps it was the strange uniform, perhaps their look of butchered
hostility. Anyhow they were one with the little trench direction boards
whose unfamiliar lettering seemed to epitomize that queer feeling I
used to have when I stared across No Man's Land, ignorant of the humanity
which was on the other side.
Leaving the trench we filed across the open hillside with Mametz Wood
looming on the opposite slope. It was a dense wood of old trees and
undergrowth. The Staff of our Division had assumed that the near side
was now unoccupied. But as soon as we had halted in a sunken road an
uproar broke out at the edge of the wood, which demonstrated with machine-guns
and bombs that the Staff had guessed wrong.
Kinjack promptly ordered A Company forward to get in touch with the
Royal Irish, whose covering parties were having a bombing fight in the
Wood. Our men were fired on as they went along the road and forced to
take cover in a quarry. I remember feeling nervous and incompetent while
I wondered what on earth I should do if called on to lead a party out
"into the blue". But the clouds were now reddening, and we
were fed up with the whole performance. Messages went back and our guns
chucked a lot of shrapnel which burst over the near side of the Wood
and enabled the Irish to withdraw. We then, as Kinjack described it
afterwards, "did a guy"; but it was a slow one for we weren't
back at our camping ground until 8.30 a.m. The expedition had lasted
nearly eleven hours and we had walked less than three miles, which was
about all we could congratulate ourselves on. The Royal Irish had had
sixty casualties; we had one killed and four wounded. From a military
point of view the operations had enabled the Staff to discover that
Mametz Wood was still full of Germans, so that it was impossible to
dig a trench on the bluff within fifty yards of it, as had been suggested.
It was obvious now that a few strong patrols could have clarified the
situation more economically than 1,000 men with picks and shovels. The
necessary information had been obtained, however, and the Staff could
hardly be expected to go up and investigate such enigmas for themselves.
But this sort of warfare was a new experience for all of us, and the
difficulties of extempore organization must have been considerable.
During the morning we were a silent battalion, except for snoring.
Some eight-inch guns were firing about 200 yards from the hollow, but
our slumbers were inured to noises which would have kept us wide awake
in civilian life. We were lucky to be dry, for the sky was overcast.
At one o'clock our old enemy the rain arrived in full force. Four hours'
deluge left the troops drenched and disconsolate, and then Dottrell
made one of his providential appearances with the rations. Dixies of
hot tea, and the rum issue, made all the difference to our outlook.
It seemed to me that the Quartermaster symbolized that region of temporary
security which awaited us when our present adversities were ended. He
had a cheery word for everyone, and his jocularity was judicious. What
were the jokes he made, I wonder? Their helpfulness must be taken for
granted. I can only remember his chaffing an officer named Woolman,
whose dumpy figure had bulged abnormally since we came up to the battle
area. Woolman's young lady in England had sent him a bullet-proof waistcoat;
so far it had only caused its wearer to perspire profusely; and although
reputed to be extremely vulnerable, it had inspired a humorist in his
company, to refer to him as "Asbestos Bill".
Time seems to have obliterated the laughter of the war. I cannot hear
it in my head. How strange such laughter would sound, could I but recover
it as it was on such an evening as I am describing, when we all knew
that we'd got to do an attack that night; for short-sighted Barton and
the other company commanders had just returned from a reconnaissance
of the ground which had left them little wiser than when they started.
In the meantime we'd got some rum inside us and could find something
to laugh about. Our laughter leapt up, like the flames of camp fires
in the dusk, soon to be stamped out, or extinguished by our impartial
opponent the rain. The consoling apparition of Dottrell departed, and
I don't suppose he did much laughing once he was alone with his homeward
rattling limbers.
Zero hour was forty-five minutes after midnight. Two companies were
to attack on a 600 yard front and the Royal Irish were to do the same
on our right. Barton's company was to be in reserve; owing to the absence
of the carrying-party it could only muster about thirty men.
At nine o'clock we started up the sunken road to Mametz. As a result
of the rain, yesterday's dry going had been trodden to a quagmire. Progress
was slow owing to the congestion of troops in front. We had only a couple
of thousand yards to go, but at one time it seemed unlikely that the
assaulting companies would be in position by zero-hour. It was pitch
dark as we struggled through the mud, and we got there with fifteen
minutes to spare, having taken three and a half hours to go a mile and
a quarter.
Barton arranged his men along a shallow support trench on the edge
of Bottom Wood, which was a copse just to the left of the ground we'd
visited the night before. Almost at once the short preliminary bombardment
began and the darkness became diabolic with the din and flash of the
old old story. Not for the first time -- I wondered whether shells ever
collided in the air. Silence and suspense came after. Burton and I talked
in undertones; he thought I'd better borrow his electric torch and find
out the nearest way to Battalion Headquarters.
Everyone was anonymous in the dark, but "It's me, Kendle, Sir,"
from a looming figure beside me implied an intention to share my explorations.
We groped our way into the wood, and very soon I muttered that unless
we were careful we'd get lost, which was true enough, for my sense of
direction had already become uncertain. While we hesitated, some shells
exploded all round us in the undergrowth with an effect of crashing
stupidity. But we laughed, encouraging each other with mutual bravado,
until we found a path. Along this path came some one in a hurry. He
bumped into me and I flashed the torch on his face. He was an officer
who had joined us the week before. He had now lost all control of himself
and I gathered from his incoherent utterances that he was on his way
to Headquarters to tell Kinjack that his Company hadn't moved yet because
they didn't know which way to go to find the Germans. This wasn't surprising;
but I felt alarmed about his reception at Headquarters, for Kinjack
had already got an idea that this poor devil was "cold-footed".
So, with an assumption of ferocity, I pulled out my automatic pistol,
gripped him by the shoulder, and told him that if he didn't go straight
back to "Asbestos Bill" I'd shoot him, adding that Kinjack
would certainly shoot him if he rolled up at Headquarters with such
a story and in such a state of "wind-up". This sobered him
and he took my advice, though I doubt whether he did any damage to the
Germans. (Ten days later he was killed in what I can only call a bona
fide manner.) So far, I thought, my contribution to this attack
is a queer one; I have saved one of our officers from being court-martialed
for cowardice. I then remarked to Kendle that this seemed to be the
shortest way to Battalion Headquarters and we found our own way back
to Burton without further incident. I told Burton that "Asbestos
Bill" seemed to be marking time, in spite of his bullet-proof waistcoat.
The men were sitting on the rough-hewn firestep, and soon we were all
dozing. Burton's bulky figure nodded beside me, and Kendle fell fast
asleep with his head against my shoulder. We remained like this until
my luminous watch indicated twenty past two. Then a runner arrived with
a verbal message. "C Company bombers to go up at once." With
a dozen men behind me I followed him through Bottom Wood. Darkness was
giving way to unrevealing twilight as we emerged from the trees and
went up a shell-pitted slope. It was about 500 yards across the open
to the newly captured Quadrangle Trench. Just before we got there a
second runner overtook us to say that my bombers were to go back again.
I sent them back. I cannot say why I went on myself; but I did, and
Kendle stayed with me.
There wasn't much wire in front of Quadrangle Trench. I entered it
at a strong point on the extreme left and found three officers sitting
on the fire-step with hunched shoulders and glum unenterprising faces.
Two others had gone away wounded. I was told that Edmunds, the Battalion
Observation Officer, had gone down to explain the situation to Kinjack;
we were in touch with the Northumberland Fusiliers on our left. Nevertheless
I felt that there must be something to be done. Exploring to the right
I found young Fernby, whose demeanor was a contrast to the apathetic
trio in the sandbagged strong-point. Fernby had only been out from England
a few weeks but he appeared quite at home in his new surroundings. His
face showed that he was exulting in the fact that he didn't feel afraid.
He told me that no one knew what had happened on our right; the Royal
Irish were believed to have failed. We went along the trench which was
less than waist deep. The Germans had evidently been digging when we
attacked, and had left their packs and other equipment ranged along
the reverse edge of the trench. I stared about me; the smoke-drifted
twilight was alive with intense movement, and there was a wild strangeness
in the scene which somehow excited me. Our men seemed a, bit out of
hand and I couldn't see any of the responsible N.C.O.'s; some of the
troops were firing excitedly at the Wood; others were rummaging in the
German packs. Fernby said that we were being sniped from the trees on
both sides. Mametz Wood was a menacing wall of gloom, and now an outburst
of rapid thudding explosions began from that direction. There was a
sap from the Quadrangle to the Wood, and along this the Germans were
bombing. In all this confusion I formed the obvious notion that we ought
to be deepening the trench. Daylight would be on us at once, and we
were along a slope exposed to enfilade fire from the Wood. I told Fernby
to make the men dig for all they were worth, and went to the right with
Kendle. The Germans had left a lot of shovels, but we were making no
use of them. Two tough-looking privates were disputing the ownership
of a pair of field-glasses, so I pulled out my pistol and urged them,
with ferocious abjurations, to chuck all that fooling and dig. I seem
to be getting pretty handy with my pistol, I thought, for the conditions
in Quadrangle Trench were giving me a sort of angry impetus. In some
places it was only a foot deep, and already men were lying wounded and
killed by sniping. There were high-booted German bodies, too, and in
the blear beginning of daylight they seemed as much the victims of a
catastrophe as the men who had attacked them. As I stepped over one
of the Germans an impulse made me lift him up from the miserable ditch.
Propped against the bank, his blond face was undisfigured, except by
the mud which I wiped from his eyes and mouth with my coat sleeve. He'd
evidently been killed while digging, for his tunic was knotted loosely
about his shoulders. He didn't look to be more than eighteen. Hoisting
him a little higher, I thought what a gentle face he had, and remembered
that this was the first time I'd ever touched one of our enemies with
my hands. Perhaps I had some dim sense of the futility which had put
an end to this good-looking youth. Anyhow I hadn't expected the Battle
of the Somme to be quite like this. . . . Kendle, who had been trying
to do something for a badly wounded man, now rejoined me, and we continued,
mostly on all fours, along the dwindling trench. We passed no one until
we came to a bombing post-three serious-minded men who said that no
one had been further than that yet. Being in an exploring frame of mind,
I took a bag of bombs and crawled another sixty or seventy yards with
Kendle close behind me. The trench became a shallow groove and ended
where the ground overlooked a little valley along which there was a
light railway line. We stared across at the Wood. From the other side
of the valley came an occasional rifle-shot, and a helmet bobbed up
for a moment. Kendle remarked that from that point any one could see
into the whole of our trench on the slope behind us. I said we must
have our strong-post here and told him to go back for the bombers and
a Lewis gun. I felt adventurous and it seemed as if Kendle and I were
having great fun together. Kendle thought so too. The helmet bobbed
up again. "I'll just have a shot at him," he said, wriggling
away from the crumbling bank which gave us cover. At this moment Fernby
appeared with two men and a Lewis gun. Kendle was half kneeling against
some broken ground; I remember seeing him push his tin hat back from
his forehead and then raise himself a few inches to take aim. After
firing once he looked at us with a lively smile; a second later he fell
sideways. A blotchy mark showed where the bullet had hit him just above
the eyes.
The circumstances being what they were, I had no justification for
feeling either shocked or astonished by the sudden extinction of Lance-Corporal
Kendle. But after blank awareness that he was killed, all feelings tightened
and contracted to a single intention -- to "settle that sniper"
on the other side of the valley. If I had stopped to think, I shouldn't
have gone at all. As it was, I discarded my tin hat and equipment, slung
a bag of bombs across my shoulder, abruptly informed Fernby that I was
going to find out who was there, and set off at a downhill double. While
I was running I pulled the safety-pin out of a Mills bomb; my right
hand being loaded, I did the same for my left. I mention this because
I was obliged to extract the second safety-pin with my teeth, and the
grating sensation reminded me that I was half way across and not so
reckless as I had been when I started. I was even a little out of breath
as I trotted up the opposite slope. Just before I arrived at the top
I slowed up and threw my two bombs. Then I rushed at the bank, vaguely
expecting some sort of scuffle with my imagined enemy. I had lost my
temper with the man who had shot Kendle; quite unexpectedly, I found
myself looking down into a well-conducted trench with a great many Germans
in it. Fortunately for me, they were already retreating. It had not
occurred to them that they were being attacked by a single fool; and
Fernby, with presence of mind which probably saved me, had covered my
advance by traversing the top of the trench with his Lewis gun. I slung
a few more bombs, but they fell short of the clumsy field-gray figures,
some of whom half turned to fire their rifles over the left shoulder
as they ran across the open toward the wood, while a crowd of jostling
helmets vanished along the trench. Idiotically elated, I stood there
with my finger in my right ear and emitted a series of "view-holloas"
( a gesture which ought to win the approval of people who still regard
war as a form of outdoor sport). Having thus failed to commit suicide,
I proceeded to occupy the trench -- that is to say I sat down on the
fire-step, very much out of breath, and hoped to God the Germans wouldn't
come back again.
The trench was deep and roomy, with a fine view of our men in the Quadrangle,
but I had no idea what to do now I had got possession of it. The word
"consolidation" passed through my mind; but I couldn't consolidate
by myself. Naturally, I didn't underestimate the magnitude of my achievement
in capturing the trench on which the Royal Irish had made a frontal
attack in the dark. Nevertheless, although still unable to see that
my success was only a lucky accident, I felt a bit queer in my solitude,
so I reinforced my courage by counting the sets of equipment which had
been left behind. There were between forty and fifty packs, tidily arranged
in a row -- a fact which I often mentioned (quite casually) when describing
my exploit afterwards. There was the doorway of a dug-out, but I only
peered in at it, feeling safer above ground. Then, with apprehensive
caution, I explored about half way to the Wood without finding any dead
bodies. Apparently no one was any the worse for my little bombing demonstration.
Perhaps I was disappointed by this, though the discovery of a dead or
wounded enemy might have caused a revival of humane emotion. Returning
to the sniping post at the end of the trench I meditated for a few minutes,
somewhat like a boy who has caught a fish too big to carry home (if
such an improbable event has ever happened). Finally I took a-deep breath
and ran headlong back by the way I'd come.
Little Fernby's anxious face awaited me, and I flopped down beside
him with an outburst of hysterical laughter. When he'd heard my story
he asked whether we oughtn't to send a party across to occupy the trench,
but I said that the Germans would be bound to come back quite soon.
Moreover my rapid return had attracted the attention of a machine-gun
which was now firing angrily, along the valley from a position in front
of the Wood. In my excitement I had forgotten about Kendle. The sight
of his body gave me a bit of a shock. His face had gone a bluish color;
I told one of the bombers to cover it with something. Then I put on
my web-equipment and its attachments, took a pull at my water-bottle,
for my mouth had suddenly become intolerably dry, and set off on my
return journey, leaving Fernby to look after the bombing post. It was
now six o'clock in the morning, and a weary business it is, to be remembering
and writing it down. There was nothing likeable about the Quadrangle,
though it was comfortable, from what I have heard, compared with the
hell which it became a few days afterwards. Alternately crouching and
crawling, I worked my way back. I passed the young German whose body
I had rescued from disfigurement a couple of hours before. He was down
in the mud again, and someone had trodden on his face. It disheartened
me to see him, though his body had now lost all touch with life and
was part of the wastage of the war. He and Kendle had canceled one another
out in the process called "attrition of manpower". Further
along I found one of our men dying slowly with a hole in his forehead.
His eyes were open and he breathed with a horrible snoring sound. Close
by him knelt two of his former mates; one of them was hacking at the
ground with an entrenching tool while the other scooped the earth out
of the trench with his hands. They weren't worrying about souvenirs
now.
Disregarding a written order from Burton, telling me to return, I remained
up in Quadrangle Trench all the morning. The enemy made a few attempts
to bomb their way up the sap from the Wood and in that restricted area
I continued to expend energy which was a result of strained nerves.
I mention this because, as the day went on, I definitely wanted to kill
someone at close quarters. If this meant that I was really becoming
a good "fighting man", I can only suggest that, as a human
being, I was both exhausted and exasperated. My courage was of the cock-fighting
kind. Cock-fighting is illegal in England, but in July 1916 the man
who could boast that he'd killed a German in the Battle of the Somme
would have been patted on the back by a bishop in a hospital ward.
German stick-bombs were easy to avoid; they took eight seconds to explode,
and the throwers didn't hang on to them many seconds after pulling the
string. Anyhow, my feverish performances were concluded by a peremptory
message from Battalion H.Q. and I went down to Bottom Wood by a half-dug
communication trench whose existence I have only this moment remembered
(which shows how difficult it is to recover the details of war experience).
It was nearly two o'clock, and the daylight was devoid of mystery when
I arrived at Kinjack's headquarters. The circumstances now made it permissible
for me to feel tired and hungry, but for the moment I rather expected
congratulations. My expectation was an error. Kinjack sat glowering
in a surface dug-out in a sandpit at the edge of Bottom Wood. I went
in from the sunlight. The overworked Adjutant eyed me sadly from a corner
of an ammunition-box table covered with a gray blanket, and the Colonel's
face caused me to feel like a newly captured prisoner. Angrily he asked
why I hadn't come back with my company bombers in the early morning.
I said I'd stayed up there to see what was happening. Why hadn't I consolidated
Wood Trench? Why the hell hadn't I sent back a message to let him know
that it had been occupied? I made no attempt to answer these conundrums.
Obviously I'd made a mess of the whole affair. The Corps Artillery bombardment
had been held up for three hours because Kinjack couldn't report that
"my patrol" had returned to Quadrangle Trench, and altogether
he couldn't be blamed for feeling annoyed with me, especially as he'd
been ticked off over the telephone by the Brigadier (in Morse Code dots
and dashes, I suppose). I looked at him with a
sulky grin, and went along to Burton with a splitting headache and a
notion that I ought to be thankful that I was back at all.(1)
In the evening we were relieved. The incoming Battalion numbered more
than double our own strength (we were less than 400 ) and they were
unseasoned New Army troops. Our little trench under the trees was inundated
by a jostling company of exclamatory Welshmen. Kinjack would have called
them a panicky rabble. They were mostly undersized men, and as I watched
them arriving at the first stage of their battle experience I had a
sense of their victimization. A little platoon officer was settling
his men down with a valiant show of self-assurance. For the sake of
appearances, orders of some kind had to be given, though in reality
there was nothing to do except sit down and hope it wouldn't rain. He
spoke sharply to some of them, and I felt that they were like a lot
of children. It was going to be a bad look-out for two such bewildered
companies, huddled up in the Quadrangle, which had been over-garrisoned
by our own comparatively small contingent. Visualizing that forlorn
crowd of khaki figures under the twilight of the trees, I can believe
that I saw then, for the first time, how blindly War destroys its victims.
The sun had gone down on my own reckless brandishings, and I understood
the doomed condition of these half-trained civilians who had been sent
up to attack the Wood. As we moved out, Barton exclaimed, "By God,
Kangar, I'm sorry for those poor devils!" Dimly he pitied them,
as well he might. Two days later the Welsh Division, of which they were
a unit, was involved in massacre and confusion. Our own occupation of
Quadrangle Trench was only a prelude to that pandemonium which converted
the green thickets of Mametz Wood to a desolation of skeleton trees
and blackening bodies.
In the meantime we willingly left them to their troubles and marched
back twelve miles to peace and safety. Mametz was being heavily shelled
when we stumbled wearily through its ruins, but we got off lightly,
though the first four miles took us four hours, owing to congestion
of transport and artillery on the roads round Fricourt. On the hill
about Bécordel we dozed for an hour in long wet grass, with stars
overhead and guns booming and flashing in the valleys below. Then, in
the first glimmer of a cold misty dawn, we trudged on to Heilly. We
were there by eight o'clock, in hot sunshine. Our camp was on a marsh
by the river Ancre -- not a good camp when it rained (as it did before
long) but a much pleasanter place than the Somme battlefield. . . .
After three hours' sleep I was roused by Flook. All officers were required
to attend the Brigadier's conference. At this function there was no
need for me to open my mouth, except for an occasional yawn. Kinjack
favored me with a good-humored grin. He only made one further comment
on my non-consolidation of that fortuitously captured trench. He would
probably leave me out of the "next show" as a punishment,
he said. Some people asserted that he had no sense of humor, but I venture
to disagree with them.
IV
NOBODY had any illusions about the duration of our holiday at Heilly.
Our Division had been congratulated by the Commander-in-Chief, and our
Brigadier had made it clear that further efforts would be required of
us in the near future. In the meantime the troops contrived to be cheerful;
to be away from the battle and in a good village was all that mattered,
for the moment. Our casualties had not been heavy (we had lost about
100 men but only a dozen of them had been killed). There was some grumbling
on the second day, which was a wet one and reduced our camp to its natural
condition -- a swamp; but the Army Commander paid us a brief (and mercifully
informal) visit, and this glimpse of his geniality made the men feel
that they had done creditably. Nevertheless, as he squelched among the
brown tents in his boots and spurs, more than one voice might have been
heard muttering, "Why couldn't the old __ have dumped us in a drier
spot?" But the Fourth Army figurehead may well have been absent-minded
that afternoon, since the Welsh Division had attacked Mametz Wood earlier
in the day, and he must already have been digesting the first reports,
which reached us in wild rumors next morning.
Basking in the sunshine after breakfast with Burton and Durley, I felt
that today was all that concerned us. If there had been a disastrous
muddle, with troops stampeding under machine-gun fire, it was twelve
miles away and no business of ours until we were called upon to carry
on the good work. There were no parades today, and we were going into
Amiens for lunch -- Dottrell and the Adjutant with us. Burton, with
a brown field-service notebook on his knee, was writing a letter to
his wife.
"Do you always light your pipe with your left hand, Kangar?"
he asked, looking up as he tore another leaf out. I replied that I supposed
so, though I'd never noticed it before. Then I rambled on for a bit
about how unobservant one could be. I said (knowing that old man Burton
liked hearing about such things), "We've got a grandfather clock
in the hall at home and for years and years I thought the maker's name
was Thos. Verney. London. Then one day I decided to give the
old brass face a polish up and I found that it was Thos. Yernon.
Ludlow !" Barton thought this a pleasing coincidence because
he lived in Shropshire and had been to Ludlow Races. A square mile of
Shropshire, he asserted, was worth the whole of France. Durley (who
was reading Great Expectations with a face that expressed release
from reality) put in a mild plea for Stoke Newington, which was where
he lived; it contained several quaint old corners if you knew where
to look for them, and must, he said, have been quite a sleepy sort of
place in Dickens's days. Reverting to my original topic, I remarked,
"We've got an old barometer, too, but it never works. Ever since
I can remember, it's pointed to Expect Wet from N.E. Last time
I was on leave I noticed that it's not Expect but Except
-- though goodness knows what that means!" My companions, who were
disinclined to be talkative, assured me that with such a brain I ought
to be on the Staff.
Strolling under the aspens that shivered and twinkled by the river,
I allowed myself a little day-dream, based on the leisurely ticking
of the old Ludlow clock . . . . Was it only three weeks ago that I had
been standing there at the foot of the staircase, between the barometer
and the clock, on just such a fine summer morning as this? Upstairs
in the bathroom Aunt Evelyn was putting sweet peas and roses in water,
humming to herself while she arranged them to her liking. Visualizing
the bathroom with its copper bath and basin (which "took such a
lot of cleaning"), its lead floor, and the blue and white Dutch
tiles along the walls, and the elder tree outside the window, I found
these familiar objects almost as dear to me as Aunt Evelyn herself,
since they were one with her in my mind (though for years she'd been
talking about doing away with the copper bath and basin).
Even now, perhaps she was once again carrying a bowl of roses down
to the drawing-room while the clock ticked slow, and the parrot whistled,
and the cook chopped something on the kitchen table. There might also
be the short-winded snorting of a traction-engine laboring up the hill
outside the house . . . . Meeting a traction-engine had been quite an
event in my childhood, when I was out for rides on my first pony. And
the thought of the cook suggested the gardener clumping in with a trugful
of vegetables, and the gardener suggested birds in the strawberry nets,
and altogether there was no definite end to that sort of day-dream of
an England where there was no war on and the village cricket ground
was still being mown by a man who didn't know that he would some day
join "the Buffs," migrate to Mesopotamia, and march to Baghdad.
Amiens was eleven miles away and the horses none too sound; but Dottrell
had arranged for us to motor the last seven of the miles -- the former
Quartermaster of our battalion (who had been Quartermaster at Fourth
Army Headquarters ever since the Fourth Army had existed) -- having
promised to lend us his car. So there was nothing wrong with the world
as the five of us jogged along, and I allowed myself a momentary illusion
that we were riding clean away from the War. Looking across a spacious
and untroubled landscape checkered with ripening corn and blood-red
clover, I wondered how that calm and beneficent light could be spreading
as far as the battle zone. But a Staff car overtook us, and as it whirled
importantly past in a cloud of dust I caught sight of a handcuffed German
prisoner -- soon to provide material for an optimistic paragraph in
Corps Intelligence Summary, and to add his story to the omniscience
of the powers who now issued operation orders with the assertion that
we were "pursuing a beaten enemy". Soon we were at Querrieux,
a big village cozily over-populated by the Fourth Army Staff. As we
passed the General's white chateau Dottrell speculated ironically on
the average income of his personal staff, adding that they must suffer
terribly from insomnia with so many guns firing fifteen miles away.
Leaving our horses to make the most of a Fourth Army feed, we went indoors
to pay our respects to the opulent Quartermaster, who had retired from
Battalion duties after the First Battle of Ypres. He assured us that
he could easily spare his car for a few hours since he had the use of
two; whereupon Dottrell said he'd been wondering how he managed to get
on with only one car.
In Amiens, at the well-known Godbert Restaurant, we lunched like dukes
in a green-shuttered private room. "God only knows when we'll see
a clean tablecloth again," remarked Burton, as he ordered langoustes,
roast duck, and two bottles of their best "bubbly". Heaven
knows what else the meal contained; but I remember talking with a loosened
tongue about sport, and old Joe telling us how he narrowly escaped being
reduced to the ranks for "making a book" when the Battalion
was stationed in Ireland before the war. "There were some fine
riders in the regiment then; they talked and thought about nothing but
hunting, racing, and polo," he said; adding that it was lucky for
some of us that horsemanship wasn't needed for winning the war, since
most mounted officers now looked as if they were either rowing a boat
or riding a bicycle uphill. Finally, when with flushed faces we sauntered
out into the sunshine, he remarked that he'd half a mind to go and look
for a young lady to make his wife jealous. I said that there was always
the cathedral to look at, and discovered that I'd unintentionally made
a very good joke.
V
Two days later we vacated the camp at Heilly. The aspens by the river
were shivering and showing the whites of their leaves, and it was goodbye
to their cool showery sound when we marched away in our own dust at
four o'clock on a glaring bright afternoon. The aspens waited, with
their indifferent welcome, for some other deadbeat and diminished battalion.
Such was their habit, and so the war went on. It must be difficult,
for those who did not experience it, to imagine the sensation of returning
to a battle area, particularly when one started from a safe place like
Heilly. Replenished by an unpromising draft from a home service battalion,
our unit was well rested and, supposedly, as keen as mustard. Anyhow
it suited everyone, including the troops themselves, to believe that
victory was somewhere within sight. Retrospectively, however, I find
it difficult to conceive them as an optimistic body of men, and it is
certain that if the men of the new draft had any illusions about modern
warfare, they would shortly lose them.
My exiguous diary has preserved a few details of that nine mile march.
Field Marshal Haig passed us in his motor; and I saw a doctor in a long
white coat standing in the church door at Morlancourt. Passing through
the village, we went on by a track, known as "the Red Road",
arrived at the Citadel "in rich yellow evening light", and
bivouacked on the hill behind the Fricourt road. Two hours later we
"stood to", and then started for Mametz, only to be brought
back again after going half a mile. I fell asleep to the sound of heavy
firing toward La Boisselle, rattling limbers on the Citadel road, and
men shouting and looking for their kits in the dark. There are worse
things than falling asleep under a summer sky. One awoke stiff and cold,
but with a head miraculously clear.
Next day I moved to the Transport Lines, a couple of miles back, for
I was one of eight officers kept in reserve. There I existed monotonously
while the Battalion was engaged in the Battle of Bazentin Ridge. My
boredom was combined with suspense, for after the first attack I might
be sent for at any moment, so I could never wander far from the Transport
Lines.
The battle didn't begin till Friday at dawn, so on Thursday Durley
and I were free and we went up to look at the old front-line. We agreed
that it felt queer to be walking along No Man's Land and inspecting
the old German trenches in a half-holiday mood. The ground was littered
with unused ammunition, and a spirit of mischievous destruction possessed
us. Pitching Stokes mortar shells down the dark and forbidding stairs
of German dug-outs, we reveled in the boom of subterranean explosions.
For a few minutes we felt as if we were getting a bit of our own back
for what we'd endured opposite those trenches, and we chanced to be
near the mine craters where the raid had failed. But soon we were being
shouted at by an indignant Salvage Corps Officer, and we decamped before
he could identify us. Thus we "put the lid on" our days and
nights in the Bois Francais sector, which was now nothing but a few
hundred yards of waste ground -- a jumble of derelict wire, meaningless
ditches, and craters no longer formidable. There seemed no sense in
the toil that had heaped those mounds of bleaching sandbags, and even
the 1st of July had become an improbable memory, now that the dead bodies
had been cleared away. Rank thistles were already thriving among the
rusty rifles, tom clothing, and abandoned equipment of those who had
fallen a couple of weeks ago.
That evening we heard that our Second Battalion had bivouacked about
half a mile from the camp. Their Division had been brought down from
Flanders and was on its way up to Bazentin. Returning from an after-dinner
stroll I found that several Second Battalion officers had come to visit
us . It was almost dark; these officers were standing outside our tent
with Durley and the others, and it sounded as if they were keeping up
their courage with the volubility usual among soldiers who knew that
they would soon be in an attack. Among them, big and impulsive, was
David Cromlech, who had been with our Battalion for three months of
the previous winter. As I approached the group I recognized his voice
with a shock of delighted surprise. He and I had never been in the same
Company, but we were close friends, although somehow or other I have
hitherto left him out of my story. On this occasion his face was only
dimly discernible, so I will not describe it, though it was a remarkable
one. An instinct for aloofness which is part of my character caused
me to remain in the background for a minute or two, and I now overheard
his desperately cheerful ejaculations with that indefinite pang of affection
often felt by a detached observer of such spontaneous behavior. When
I joined the group we had so much to tell one another that I very soon
went back with him to his tentless hillside. On the way I gave him a
breathless account of my adventures up at Mametz Wood, but neither of
us really wanted to talk about the Somme Battle. We should probably
get more than enough of it before we'd finished. He had only just joined
the Second Battalion, and I was eager to hear about England. The men
of his platoon were lying down a little way off; but soon their recumbent
mutterings had ceased, and all around us in the gloom were sleeping
soldiers and the pyramids of piled rifles. We knew that this might be
our last meeting, and gradually an ultimate strangeness and simplicity
overshadowed and contained our low-voiced colloquies. We talked of the
wonderful things we'd do after the war; for to me David had often seemed
to belong less to my war experience than to the freedom which would
come after it. He had dropped his defensive exuberance now, and I felt
that he was rather luckless and lonely -- too young to be killed up
on Bazentin Ridge. It was midnight when I left him. First thing in the
morning I hurried up the hill in hope of seeing him again. Scarcely
a trace remained of the battalion which had bivouacked there, and I
couldn't so much as identify the spot where we'd sat on his ground sheet,
until I discovered a scrap of silver paper which might possibly have
belonged to the packet of chocolate which we had munched while he was
telling me about the month's holiday he'd had in Wales after he came
out of hospital.
When I got back to our tent in the Transport Lines I found everyone
in a state of excitement. Dottrell and the ration party had returned
from their all-night pilgrimage with information about yesterday's attack.
The Brigade had reached its first objectives. Two of our officers had
been killed and several wounded. Old man Burton had got a nice comfortable
one in the shoulder. Hawkes (a reliable and efficient chap who belonged
to one of the other Companies) had been sent for to take command of
C Company, and was even now completing his rapid but methodical preparations
for departure.
The reserve Echelon was an arid and irksome place to be loafing about
in. Time hung heavy on our hands and we spent a lot of it lying in the
tent on our outspread valises. During the sluggish mid-afternoon of
that same Saturday I was thus occupied in economizing my energies. Durley
had nicknamed our party "the eight little nigger boys", and
there were now only seven of us. Most of them were feeling more talkative
than I was, and it happened that I emerged from a snooze to hear them
discussing "that queer bird Cromlech". Their comments reminded
me, not for the first time, of the diversified impressions which David
made upon his fellow Fusiliers.
At his best I'd always found him an ideal companion, although his opinions
were often disconcerting. But no one was worse than he was at hitting
it off with officers who distrusted cleverness and disliked unreserved
utterances. In fact he was a positive expert at putting people's backs
up unintentionally. He was with our Second Battalion for a few months
before they transferred him to "the First", and during that
period the Colonel was heard to remark that young Cromlech threw his
tongue a hell of a lot too much, and that it was about time he gave
up reading Shakespeare and took to using soap and water. He had, however,
added, "I'm agreeably surprised to find that he isn't windy in
trenches".
David certainly was deplorably untidy, and his absent-mindedness when
off duty was another propensity which made him unpopular. Also, as I
have already hinted, he wasn't good at being "seen but not heard".
"Far too fond of butting in with his opinion before he's been asked
for it", was often his only reward for an intelligent suggestion.
Even Birdie Mansfield (who had knocked about the world too much to be
intolerant) was once heard to exclaim, "Unless you watch it, my
son, you'll grow up into the most bumptious young prig God ever invented!"
-- this protest being a result of David's assertion that all sports
except boxing, football, and rock climbing were snobbish and silly.
From the floor of the tent, Holman (a spick and span boy who had been
to Sandhurst and hadn't yet discovered that it was unwise to look down
on temporary officers who "wouldn't have been wanted in the Regiment
in peace time") was now saying, "Anyhow I was at Clitherland
with him last month, and he fairly got on people's nerves with his hot
air about the Battle of Loos, and his brain-waves about who really wrote
the Bible." Durley then philosophically observed, "Old Longneck
certainly isn't the sort of man you meet every day. I can't always follow
his theories myself, but I don't mind betting that he'll go a long way
-- provided he isn't pushing up daisies when Peace breaks out."
Holman (who had only been with us a few days and soon became more democratic)
brushed Durley's defense aside with "The blighter's never satisfied
unless he's turning something upside down. I actually heard him say
that Homer was a woman. Can you beat that? And if you'll believe me
he had the darned sauce to give me a sort of pi-jaw about going out
with girls in Liverpool. If you ask me, I think he's a rotten outsider,
and the sooner he's pushing up daisies the better." Whereupon Perrin
( a quiet man of thirty-five who was sitting in a corner writing to
his wife) stopped the discussion by saying, "Oh, dry up, Holman?
For all we know the poor devil may be dead by now."
Late that night I was lying in the tent with The Return of the Native
on my knee. The others were asleep, but my candle still guttered on
the shell box at my elbow. No one had mumbled "For Christ's sake
put that light out"; which was lucky, for I felt very wide awake.
How were things going at Bazentin, I wondered. And should I be sent
for tomorrow? A sort of numb funkiness invaded me. I didn't want to
die -- not before I'd finished reading The Return of the Native
anyhow. "The quick-silvery glaze on the rivers and pools vanished;
from broad mirrors of light they changed to lustreless sheets of lead."
The words fitted my mood; but there was more in them than that. I wanted
to explore the book slowly. It made me long for England, and it made
the War seem waste of time. Ever since my existence became precarious
I had realized how little I'd used my brain in peace time, and now I
was always trying to keep my mind from stagnation. But it wasn't easy
to think one's own thoughts while on active service, and the outlook
of my companions was mostly mechanical; they dulled everything with
commonplace chatter and made even the vividness of the War ordinary.
My encounter with David Cromlech -- after three months' separation --
had reawakened my relish for liveliness and originality. But I had no
assurance of ever seeing him again, or of meeting anyone who could stir
up my dormant apprehensions as he did. Was it a mistake, I wondered,
to try and keep intelligence alive when I could no longer call my life
my own? In the brown twilight of the tent I sat pondering with my one
golden candle flame beside me. Last night's talk with David now assumed
a somewhat ghostlike character. The sky had been starless and clouded
and the air so still that a lighted match needed no hand to shield it.
Ghosts don't strike matches, of course; and I knew that I'd smoked my
pipe, and watched David's face -- salIow, crooked, and whimsical --
when he lit a cigarette. There must have been the usual noises going
on; but they were as much a part of our surroundings as the weather,
and it was easy to imagine that the silence had been unbroken by the
banging of field batteries and the remote tack-tack of rifles and machine-guns.
Had that somber episode been some premonition of our both getting killed?
For the country had loomed limitless and strange and sullenly imbued
with the Stygian significance of the War. And the soldiers who slept
around us in their hundreds -- were they not like the dead, among whom
in some dim region where time survived in ghostly remembrances, we two
could still cheat ourselves with hopes and forecasts of a future exempt
from antagonisms and perplexities? . . On some such sonorous cadence
as this my thoughts halted. Well, poor old David was up in the battle;
perhaps my mind was somehow in touch with his (though he would have
disparaged my "fine-style," I thought). More rationally reflective,
I looked at my companions, rolled in their blankets, their faces turned
to the earth or hidden by the folds. I thought of the doom that was
always near them now, and how I might see them lying dead, with all
their jollity silenced, and their talk, which had made me impatient,
ended for ever. I looked at gallant young Fernby; and Durley, that kind
and sensitive soul; and my own despondency and discontent released me.
I couldn't save them, but at least I could share the dangers and discomforts
they endured. "Outside in the gloom the guns are shaking the hills
and making lurid flashes along the valleys. Inevitably, the War blunders
on; but among the snoring sleepers I have had my little moment of magnanimity.
What I feel is no more than the candle which makes tottering shadows
in the tent. Yet it is something, perhaps, that one man can be awake
there, though he can find no meaning in the immense destruction which
he blindly accepts as part of some hidden purpose." . . . Thus
(rather portentously, perhaps) I recorded in my diary the outcome of
my ruminations.
For another five days my war experience continued to mark time in that
curious camp. I call the camp curious, for it seemed so, even then.
There was a makeshift effect of men coming and going, loading and unloading
limbers and wagons, carrying fodder, shouting at horses and mules, attending
to fires, and causing a smell of cooking. A whiff from a certain sort
of wood fire could make me see that camp clearly now, since it was strewn
and piled with empty shell-boxes which were used for fuel, as well as
for building bivouacs. Along the road from Fricourt to Meaulte, infantry
columns continually came and went, processions of prisoners were brought
down, and small parties of "walking wounded" straggled thankfully
toward the Casualty Clearing Station. The worn landscape looked parched
and shabby; only the poppies made harsh spots of red, matching the head
caps of the Indian cavalry who were camped near by.
Among all this activity, time passed sluggishly for me. Inside our
tent I used to stare at the camouflage paint smears which showed through
the canvas, formulating patterns and pictures among which the whiteness
of the sky showed in gaps and rents. The paint smears were like ungainly
birds with wide spread wings, fishes floating, monkeys in scarecrow
trees, or anything else my idle brain cared to contrive. In one corner
a fight was going on (in a Futuristic style) and a figure brandished
a club while his adversary took a side-leap, losing an arm and a leg
from a bomb explosion. Then someone would darken the doorway with a
rumor that the Battalion had been moved up to attack High Wood -- a
new name, and soon afterwards an ugly one. Night would fall, with the
others playing "Nap" and talking stale war stuff out of the
Daily Mail, and the servants singing by a bright shell box fire
in the gusty twilight. And I would think about driving home from cricket
matches before the War, wondering whether I'd ever go back to that sort
of thing again.
I remember another evening (it was the last one I spent in that place)
when the weather seemed awaiting some spectacular event in this world
of blundering warfare. Or was it as though the desolation of numberless
deaths had halted the clouded sky to an attitude of brooding inertia?
I looked across at Albert; its tall trees were flat gray-blue outlines,
and the broken tower of the Basilica might have been a gigantic clump
of foliage. Above this landscape of massed stillness and smoky silhouettes
the observation balloons were swaying slowly, their noses pointing toward
the line of battle. Only the distant thud of gun-fire disturbed the
silence -- like someone kicking footballs -- a soft bumping, miles away.
Walking along by the river I passed the horse-lines of the Indian cavalry;
the barley field above couldn't raise a rustle, so still was the air.
Low in the west, pale orange beams were streaming down on the country
that receded with a sort of rich regretful beauty, like the background
of a painted masterpiece. For me that evening expressed the indeterminate
tragedy which was moving, with agony on agony, toward the autumn.
I leant on a wooden bridge, gazing down into the dark green glooms
of the weedy little river, but my thoughts were powerless against unhappiness
so huge. I couldn't alter European history, or order the artillery to
stop firing. I could stare at the War as I stared at the sultry sky,
longing for life and freedom and vaguely altruistic about my fellow-victims.
But a second-lieutenant could attempt nothing -- except to satisfy his
superior officers; and altogether, I concluded, Armageddon was too immense
for my solitary understanding. Then the sun came out for a last reddening
look at the War, and I turned back to the camp with its clustering tents
and crackling fires. I finished the day jawing to young Fernby about
fox-hunting.
The Division had now been in action for a week. Next day they were
to be relieved. Late in the afternoon Dottrell moved the Transport back
about three miles, to a hill above Dernancourt. Thankful for something
to do at last, I busied myself with the putting up of tents. When that
was done I watched the sun going down in glory beyond the main road
to Amiens. The horizon trees were dark blue against the glare, and the
dust of the road floated in wreaths; motor-lorries crept continuously
by, while the long shadows of trees made a sort of mirage on the golden
haze of the dust. The country along the river swarmed with camps, but
the low sun made it all seem pleasant and peaceful. After nightfall
the landscape glowed and glinted with camp-fires, and a red half-moon
appeared to bless the combatant armies with neutral beams. Then we were
told to shift the tents higher up the hill and I became active again;
for the Battalion was expected about midnight. After this little emergency
scramble I went down to the cross-roads with Dottrell, and there we
waited hour after hour. The Quartermaster was in a state of subdued
anxiety, for he'd been unable to get up to Battalion Headquarters for
the last two days. We sat among some barley on the bank above the road,
and as time passed we conversed companionably, keeping ourselves awake
with an occasional drop of rum from his flask. I always enjoyed being
with Dottrell, and that night the husky-voiced old campaigner was more
eloquent than he realized. In the simplicity of his tally there was
a universal tone which seemed to be summing up all the enduring experience
of an Infantry Division. For him it was a big thing for the Battalion
to be coming back from a battle, though, as he said, it was a new Battalion
every few months now.
An hour before dawn the road was still an empty picture of moonlight.
The distant gun-fire had crashed and rumbled all night, muffled and
terrific with immense flashes, like waves of some tumult of water rolling
along the horizon. Now there came an interval of silence in which I
heard a horse neigh, shrill and scared and lonely. Then the procession
of the returning troops began. The camp-fires were burning low when
the grinding jolting column lumbered back. The field guns came first,
with nodding men sitting stiffly on weary horses, followed by wagons
and limbers and field-kitchens. After this rumble of wheels came the
infantry, shambling, limping, straggling and out of step. If anyone
spoke it was only a muttered word, and the mounted officers rode as
if asleep. The men had carried their emergency water in petrol-cans,
against which bayonets made a hollow clink; except for the shuffling
of feet, this was the only sound. Thus, with an almost spectral appearance,
the lurching brown figures flitted past with slung rifles and heads
bent forward under basin-helmets. Moonlight and dawn began to mingle,
and I could see the barley swaying indolently against the sky. A train
groaned along the riverside, sending up a cloud of whitish fiery smoke
against the gloom of the trees. The Flintshire Fusiliers were a long
time arriving. On the hill behind us the kite balloon swayed slowly
upward with straining ropes, its looming bulbous body reflecting the
first pallor of daybreak. Then, as if answering our expectancy, a remote
skirling of bagpipes began, and the Gordon Highlanders hobbled in. But
we had been sitting at the cross-roads nearly six hours, and faces were
recognizable, when Dottrell hailed our leading Company.
Soon they had dispersed and settled down on the hillside, and were
asleep in the daylight which made everything seem ordinary. None the
less I had seen something that night which overawed me. It was all in
the day's work -- an exhausted Division returning from the Somme Offensive
-- but for me it was as though I had watched an army of ghosts. It was
as though I had seen the War as it might be envisioned by the mind of
some epic poet a hundred years hence.
(1) Graves briefly mentions
this impetuous act by Sassoon and the colonel's less-than-happy reaction
in Goodbye to All That.